Current, former, and future porn stars and sex workers are everywhere. Webcam models serve you coffee at your favorite bistro. Retired porn actors work the night shift at veterinary clinics. Strippers are double as professional ballet dancers. College graduates refresh their porn ads in between studying for their final exams.
The reasons for entering sex work and porn are as diverse and unique as their personalities, and we live in an age where stories about sex workers dominate our news feeds and magazine covers. Sex work is now widely recognized as a viable and respectable job, and this support naturally leads to more people coming out.
But like any job, working for a porn studio or porn tube can be difficult to maintain a healthy work-life balance, especially when it comes to romantic and sexual relationships. Topics like exposure, jealousy, negotiation, and boundaries are just a few of the topics that partners of sex workers should be aware of. To help you be the best partner possible to a porn worker, here are some tips and tricks from sex workers to maintain a relationship without bias, prejudice, or misplaced goodwill.
Be her cheerleader, but not without your permission.
A guy I dated in college told me I was a stripper. I couldn’t be happier. I appreciated his enthusiasm and support, but he had a bad habit of telling almost everyone in his life what I did for a living, from his fraternity brothers to his parents.
I was never ashamed of the porn videos I made, but there were limits to who had “full access” to that knowledge, and my boyfriend’s parents were definitely on that list. Even if you love her a lot, be sure to discuss how “open” she wants to be about her work before you shout it out in public. Every sex worker has different boundaries when it comes to advertising their work, and those boundaries deserve to be respected.
Don’t treat it like a health risk.
There is an unfortunately widespread stigma against sex workers that we are dirty, filthy, and above all, obsessed with sex. The reality is that sex workers are more susceptible to contracting STIs because our work frequently puts us in situations where we need to be thoroughly educated about safe sex practices. We have gender-based conversations about disease, risk, and prevention. Not only are we intimately aware of our bodies (and how hot they are?), but we are also adept at protecting own health, the health of our clients and employees, and the health of our loved ones. That’s our job as sex experts. So if you’re worried about being “caught” by a sex worker, don’t worry. I’d be more worried about the accountant I don’t remember walking home with from the bar last week.
Understand the difference between fantasy and reality.
One time, as I was coming out of the locker room after a long night, some girls were teasing my friend Sasha, who was getting ready to get her ass banged from her new porn tube. “Oh, what are you going to wear?
