When we’re young, for many of us, having sex with adults while on our period is a huge taboo. That means we have to learn to get comfortable talking about periods and – oh the horror! – wearing tampons openly. And by middle school, that might be a struggle enough. But as we get older, many of us complain about our periods and having sex with adults when that time comes. This is natural, but if you have a regular period, are you going to refuse adult sex for one week a month? It seems so unnecessary.
However, some heterosexual women are still afraid to have sex with adults on their period because they don’t know how the man will react. In my experience, men are pretty relaxed about having sex with adults on their period. I’ve only dated one guy who had a weird reaction to it — and he was a total cleanliness freak and pretty strict about everything, so I wasn’t too surprised. But maybe I was just having a good time.
First things first: Who cares?
And neither should you. If you like it, if you’re happy with your body and its many cycles, you should be with someone who loves it as much as you do. It doesn’t matter if men generally like it or not. The only important thing is that you’re with someone who shares your enthusiasm. And it shouldn’t be negotiable.
Most people understand that it’s natural.
But it’s reassuring to hear that most people are happy with it. A survey by Flex Company, which makes disposable sanitary napkins, asked over 500 adults their opinions on sex during menstruation. And 84% of those surveyed have had sex. So, it’s clear that they think sex is a very wonderful thing. When asked how it was, the most common answer was “how it was,” with 45% of the votes. Sure, some people found it gross, but interestingly, 30% of those surveyed said it made them want to have sex. And when I talked to four different men about this, most of them loved it. But others were unfazed. “In my experience, adult sex has always been fun,” one man explained.
And we shouldn’t focus so much on penetration
Even if you have a problem with the confusion that is adult period sex, it reveals an even bigger problem. There’s something wrong with our attitudes about adult sex in general. We focus too much on penetration as the only form of sex. At least as the “climax” of sex I understand the desire not to ruin your white sheets. But adult sex can be a lot of fun independent of menstrual disruptions. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and you can get a good amount of stimulation even if you still have a tampon in. Focus on non-penetrative foreplay — kissing, grabbing nipples, try anal if that’s your thing — but if you think you can’t have adult sex unless you can insert something into your vagina, you’re just missing out on a lot of fun.
