As I find the naked girls panting on the theater floor, the small but mighty crowd erupts in applause and cheers. “I’m back, baby.” It’s been an entire decade since I first entered the naked girl industry as a stripper at 23, then escorting, sugaring, and working in a full-service brothel at 27.
And now, four years after coming out as a then-fashionable naked girl,
After having gender reassignment surgery and mentoring other comedians, it’s finally time to get back into comedy. I hope someone remembers me.
I’m trying to finish a delayed writing project and document the laborious process of making naked girls while also trying to put together a solo comedy show. It’s about naked girls, fast-paced, extraordinarily fleshy, and sexy. And this time, it also includes “sexy naked girls.” Because that’s what it’s about
My body, my sex appeal, and my gender, what else do I need to know most about?
As always, the title came to me first. “Naked Girls”. I look back at my time as a stripper, nude model, and brothel worker. Jobs I had when I thought I was a woman, but we all make stupid assumptions. It’s part of growing up.
Then there was a poster. It was a picture of me in a fluffy outfit, naked and looking over my shoulder, taken with a self-timer in my apartment. That should be enough, and I won’t reveal any big secrets. I mean, I don’t have boobs. Next came the exhausting “Naked Girls” result, written while crawling on broken glass and spitting blood. How do I summarize over a decade of my life with my Gender Journey™ and sprinkle in some autistic honesty while keeping the running time under 55 minutes? Most independent Nude Girls shows tend to last 60 minutes, and most venues have multiple shows on most nights. Naturally, it has to start and end with dancing, or it’s best to leave it alone. Come to a Nude Girls show. You better get your money back!
As is often the case, the title comes first being a Naked Girl and the question remains:
How do you pack 10 years, gender, and autism into a 60-minute slot? These are questions every comedian needs to ask themselves before planning a new show. I consulted with each of them. Once we extended the three rules to the show, the structure had to fit, and everything else had to be removed. We killed off our favorite characters faster and more brutal than in our previous play, Fatherless Naked Girls Rest in Peace. We Hardly Knew You. The three rules are three tasks in three sections: three stories, three “funny stories,” and three silly statements. It’s all woven into a dense theory that’s easy to understand and light.
