A great sex life, with an emphasis on “can,” can be a sign of great love. Because if you’re a normally sexual person, you’ve probably always had a pretty intense sex life and feel that your love benefits from it. This is totally normal and very good for the health of you and your partner. But it’s also completely normal to not feel that sexual sometimes. It can be a scary feeling, especially if you’re used to experiencing sexual love regularly, but there’s nothing to be ashamed of if you want to take a step back for a while. There are lots of reasons why you might need to take a romantic break. Perhaps you’re stressed at work, taking other medications, or just temporarily feeling different.
But while you know this in theory, putting it into practice can be much harder. You might feel bad telling your partner that you need a romantic break because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. That’s why it’s important to explain to him what’s going on with compassion and reassurance. Here’s what you need to know:
Tell them you’re “why”
When you talk about your need to take a break from sex, they’ll want to know why, and you should try to be available to answer that question. If you don’t know why you need a break, that’s okay, but communicate that you shouldn’t just shut down or withdraw and leave them to fill in the gaps It’s perfectly okay to say, “I don’t know, but I think it’s probably X,” or “I’m not sure, but I think it’s Y.” If you know it’s related to stress, medication, or just low mood, let her know.
Consider major issues in your relationship
the need for a break from sex may have nothing to do with your love, but it may also reflect emotional issues. If something is wrong with your love, use the opportunity to address it. It may be a more difficult conversation, but if that’s what’s going on, it’s important. If possible, don’t tell them if they’re going to initiate sex or decorate the bedroom with candles and rose petals. Doing so will only make them feel vulnerable and weak. Instead, bring up the topic at a completely non-sexual moment, like when you’re eating dinner at home or lounging on the couch. Rip off the and the rest will follow.
If you, as a partner, are the one taking the lead and you don’t want to do it, then of course you should say so, but be aware that you may need to be even gentler about it. Gently release her and then try a more detailed conversation.
Answer Questions
Your partner may have a lot of questions about what is going on. They may constantly ask if it has something to do with them or if there is something wrong with their love. Accept that their confusion is normal and do your best to answer their questions. Give them some slack and allow them to answer rather than make up answers that they can’t think of.
Be Firm
You need to accept that they may be upset or confused, but you should never tolerate someone being upset about it. If they belittle your feelings, make you feel guilty, or try to argue with you about it, that’s never acceptable. Sexuality is an important part of your love, but for someone to turn away from sexuality means there should be more to your relationship than that.
